Ask anybody with school-aged kids these days and they’ll tell you that one of the most baffling things to contend with is the panoply of utterly ridiculous names parents have been saddling their kids with in recent years.

But in Norway, where Covid, cold weather and (we assume) a terrifying shortage of televisions have combined to spark a veritable baby boom, parents have had their “what the Fjørd are we going to call it?” questions answered by … *checks notes* … IKEA.

The company has decided to throw open its so-Scandi-it’s-painful product name database to help new parents find something unique to call the fruit of their loins.

It’s perfect for the parents having trouble choosing a moniker for the heir to your swollen portfolio, provided you’re okay with naming that child after the kind of chipboard bed that will fall apart while you’re trying to make the next one.

Bad news, though, for anyone looking to ensure their child has a bright future with a footy – I’ve already claimed the name Huvudroll Vinterkall for any future child of mine… and no – you’re not allowed to copy.

Meatballs Refrigerator is a fine name for a child. Pic via Getty

Anyway… The whole thing’s either a blatantly transparent PR stunt, or they celebrate April Fool’s Day in June in that part of the world for some reason.

Honestly, it’s kind of hard to tell, because learning how to read Norwegian in under 45 minutes this morning turned out to be a lot harder than it sounds.

 

TO MARKETS

Aussie markets have started the day by demonstrating all of the charm and poise of a meatball fight, dropping under 7,000 points for the first time in June after a woeful showing from our friends in the US overnight.

Locally, sector after sector filled their boots with concrete and hopped overboard, with Energy (-1.79%), Real Estate (-1.25%), Info Tech (-2.05%) and Materials (-2.26%) all deciding to spend the June long weekend at the bottom of the sea.

Falling hard from corporate boxes were materials players Alumina (ASX:AWC), down more than 6.0%, and Lynas (ASX:LYC), which fell nearly 8.0%. Hot on their heels was tech firm Block Inc (ASX:SQ2), which slid nearly 7.0% before lunch.

We’ll get to the little guys in a bit – but looking overseas, a broad sell-off across Wall Street sent indices plummeting. The Nasdaq felt the brunt of the heat (-2.75%), with the S&P (-2.38%) and the Dow (-1.94%) not too far behind.

Around Asia, and the markets were as cold as the cashier’s smile at Coles. Japan and Hong Kong fell 1.41% and 0.97% respectively, while Shanghai posted another flat morning.

Oil broke its lucky streak, dipping down about 1.0% to a shade over $120 a barrel, gold fell 0.25% and the Aussie dollar remained largely unchanged.

 

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for June 10 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

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Down in the Small Caps locker rooms, Culpeo Minerals (ASX:CPO) added to Monday’s phenomenal gains, throwing another 25% into the trunk of the car before heading off to enjoy the long weekend.

Pearl Gull Iron (ASX:PLG), which Emma Davies very kindly talked us through this morning, climbed another 60% this morning, adding even more value on top of yesterday’s big hike – but with a market cap still lurking around under $3m, it’s not going to be too hard to move the needle.

But the big gainer was Lakes Blue Energy (ASX:LKO), which turned up the nitrous and added 100% to its price, on the heels of news that its Petroleum Prospecting Licence 560 in Papua New Guinea has been extended by one year, to 22 December 2026.

 

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the worst performing ASX small cap stocks for June 10 [intraday]:

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