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Good morning everyone, and welcome to 22 April, 2024 – an important date in the history of hobbies that make people look super-dumb, as it was on this day back in 1823 that  a British inventor lodged the world’s first patent for rollerblades.

The inventor’s name was John Robert Tyers, and he’s credited with inventing the Great Fitness Scourge of the 1990s – but it’s not the massive achievement that people who like rollerblades probably consider it to be.

Tyers was simply doing what most inventors do whenever they’re dreaming up stupid things to get rich, or simply to amuse themselves and impress women at parties, by taking an already existing thing and coming up with a product that is somehow even more preposterously dangerous – in this example, it was roller skates.

Roller skates had been around for at least 80 years, having made their world debut on a London stage in 1743, a few years before Belgian inventor John Joseph Merlin beat everyone else to the punch by lodging a patent for them in 1760.

Original-styled roller skates grew in popularity thanks to two timely inclusions in popular culture – Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète featured at least one actor on roller skates, whizzing about on stage and singing their lungs out, in order to be heard over the cacophony of skate wheels on a rickety wooden stage.

That performance is at least partly to blame for the next appearance of actors on skates during a live theatre performance, called Starlight Express – a tale about a young child’s toy train set that magically comes to life and I don’t know the rest of the plot because the more I think about it, the more attractive the idea of putting myself into a persistent vegetative state becomes.

That musical is a legit smouldering turd (on wheels!) – it was meant to be a feast for the senses and usher in a new era of high energy live theatre.

Instead, it’s pretty much just a salute to the quality and quantity of cocaine that Webber is rumoured to have consumed while trying to set this foul, fetid fever-dream idea to music.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s a small sample.



It goes on like that for two-and-a-half gruelling hours, complete with some very poignant moments that 100% absolutely had the play’s director bellowing “skate sadder, Geoffrey. SKATE SADDER!” at some point during rehearsals.

So that’s a 2.5-hour assault on the very notion of human decency itself, with limited opportunities to make a break for the bogs during the show, as there’s little-to-no warning as to when the aisle is suddenly full of 20 or so cast members on roller skates.

You can take my word for it when I say this: Getting hit at high speed by someone on roller skates is guaranteed to knock the gloss off your day.

Add the burden of having spent four years at the The Royal Academy of Dramatic Art only to end up in Starlight Express, and the fatality rate skyrockets.

Anyhoo, I reckon it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ve never had to resort to performing in Starlight Express just to make ends meet – and to assist in your ongoing life’s mission to keep that from ever happening, we’ve got a great bunch of backgrounders and briefings for you to digest before the market opens.

Cameron Drummond’s had a look at all the ASX gold juniors setting up shop overseas, Eddy’s got a rundown on the most celebrated momentum trading strategy of all-time, and Christian just knows stuff. Especially what’s going on type of stuff.

And I, gentle reader, have spent several gruelling minutes compiling some data, digits and highlights – all listed below – to help prep you for the beating I suspect is headed our way on the ASX this morning.



Gold: US$2,390.60 (+0.47%)

Silver: US$28.68 (+1.58%)

Nickel (3mth): US$19,469.00/t (+4.90%)

Copper (3mth): US$9,707.07/t (+2.55%)

Oil (WTI): US$83.14 (+0.50%)

Oil (Brent): US$87.29 (+0.21%)

Iron 62pc Fe: US$108.25/t (+0.28%)

AUD/USD: 0.6413 (-0.13%)

Bitcoin: US$64,827.10 (-0.22%)



Did you fall asleep on Friday afternoon and miss our super-excellent wrap up of last week’s Small Caps action? Fret not, dear reader, for here’s the link to that Weekly Wrap, lovingly written by someone who’s clearly mega-smart and probably totes completely handsome, too.




Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

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Friday’s Small Cap Winners included:

Standout winner on the ASX was DY6 Metals’ (ASX:DY6) which announced that soil and rock chip sampling has returned up to 3.22% total rare earth oxides (TREO) and 0.75% niobium in the recently acquired licence EL0705 at its flagship Machinga project in Malawi.

Adisyn (ASX:AI1) was also tracking well, with the defence sector IT company top of mind for many investors, thanks to the investor prezzo the company dropped on Monday.

And gold explorer Metalicity (ASX:MCT) was climbing, announcing that drilling is set to commence at its Yundamindra project – the first drilling activity there in 10 years. However, Metalicity’s rise this morning was most likely due to investors being reminded that historical exploration at the site returned assays including 8m @ 56.36g/t Au from 44m, which the company announced back in 2019.



Here are the worst performing ASX small cap stocks:

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Mayur Resources (ASX:MRL) – pending an announcement in relation to the financing of the Central Lime Project.

Midas Minerals (ASX:MM1) – pending the release of an announcement regarding a capital raising.

Emyria (ASX:EMD) – pending the release of an announcement regarding a capital raising.