It’s the end of another Monday, which means – despite us heading well into the warmer months – it’s still a legal requirement that you join us by the Last Orders fire to share with us your thoughts and fears, while we yammer on like a sniffling ad executive at his niece’s 21st about what we think is important.

So let’s settle in, so we chew your ear off with today’s round of Last Orders, and then we can all go home. Deal?

 

FROM THE SOCIALS

From the sublime, to the ridiculous, to the unbelievably dumb, to… this.

In the wake of the Great Blue Checkmark Debacle of 2022 – and an enormous uptick in the number of people changing their Twitter names to Elon Musk and saying dumb things to make the Big Boss look silly – comes a reaction so salty you could float a Tesla CyberTruck on top of it and still have some buoyancy to spare.

 

 

Followed 2 hours later, completely without even a 0.001ppb shred of Rare Musk Irony, by this:

 

 

Meanwhile, Twitter is – according to Bloomberg – frantically on the blower to a whole heap of people that were given the arse last week, asking them very nicely to please come back after it became apparent that quite a number of them are actually vital to the whole platform continuing to function.

… and in late-breaking news, “comedian” Kathy Griffin has become the first high-profile victim of the Great Musky Banhammer, for impersonating The Muskmeister on Twitter, sending the entire internet into an seething frenzy of near-comatose ambivalence, from which it has probably already recovered.

Also… I know I said last week that this non-stop coverage of Twitter would stop – but when the fruit’s hanging this low, it’s hard not to kick the new owner in the plums.

 

FROM THE HEADLINES

Speaking of hilariously dumb, this piece in The Guardian caught our eye this morning – because it’s not every day that someone runs themselves over three times, with their own car.

After stopping to get something out of the boot of her car, the woman was run down by the vehicle, which then hit another car and rolled forward, again over the top of the woman – and then, possibly just to make sure the job was done, her car hit a barrier and bounced back over the top of her in the most Monty Python-esque traffic accident you’re ever likely to read about.

Not at all funny that the woman was injured, of course – but we’re curious as to precisely which of the various gods she had annoyed that morning, so we know which ones to be nice to in our nightly prayers for the rest of the week.

And a bolt from above appears to have given one Northern Californian man a nasty surprise, after what he believes was a meteorite struck his home and destroyed it.

According to local reports, a “bright blue ball of light” was spotted hurtling through the atmosphere that very night – and the homeowner, Dustin Procita, told police that he was home on his cattle ranch when he heard “a loud bang” and then his house was “on fire”.

While the odds of this happening are vanishingly small, it’s not entirely outside of the bounds of probability. Police, meanwhile, are continuing to question all of the cows on Procita’s farm, because I think it’s funny. So there.

 

LAST ORDERS

Boab Metals (ASX:BML) has written back to the ASX, after the eagle-eyed guardians of How Fast The Numbers Keep Changing asked Boab to explain why their numbers had changed so fast.

BML said nothing weird was going on. Oh, and that the company is currently sitting on one of the country’s largest undeveloped silver resources at Sorby Hills, and that the price of silver had climbed about 7% in the past little while, so maybe that had something to do with it.

Meanwhile, Australian medical technology company, Artrya (ASX:AYA) has announced that it’s received word from the The European Notified Body (BSI) that the assessment for UKCA Class 2 Certification has been completed and they will recommend certification of AYA’s Salix V2.0 Software for marketing into the United Kingdom.

And last one for today, because I’m alllll outta puff, AngloGold Ashanti (ASX:AGG) says that the various conditions to the acquisition by AngloGold Ashanti of Coeur Sterling – which owns neighbouring properties to AngloGold Ashanti’s properties in the Beatty district of southern Nevada – have been satisfied and the transaction has now closed.

AGG has paid the closing consideration of $150 million to Coeur Mining, opening a path for AngloGold Ashanti to get down to the business of turning the district into a new gold production centre.

 

TRADING HALTS

Gascoyne Resources (ASX:GCY) – GCY’s gonna drop an announcement to the market in relation to production and cost guidance at the Dalgaranga Gold Project for the December Quarter and the second half of FY2023.

Talon Energy (ASX:TPD) – Talon’s asked for a break in proceedings to let it get on top of managing its continuous disclosure obligations pending an announcement of an Independent Resource upgrade for the Gurvantes XXXV Project.

Resource Mining Corporation (ASX:RMI) – Wonder of wonders, it’s another trading halt that isn’t about a Cap Raise – RMI’s got an announcement in relation to the Finland nickel and lithium projects currently under exclusive option ready to let loose upon the world.

GO2 People (ASX:GO2) – GO2 has news in respect of the payment plans it’s seeking from the Australian Taxation Office.

Aurumin (ASX:AUN) – And, there it is… Aurumin’s doing a capital raise. Nothing wrong with that, of course – but it looked like we could have a magical day where the trading halts didn’t include a cap raise.

TMK Energy (ASX:TMK) – Another complex one – TMK is set to release an announcement with respect to an updated Contingent and Prospective Resource report completed by Netherland, Sewell & Associates, Inc. (NSAI) covering the Gurvantes XXXV Coal Seam Gas (CSG) project in Mongolia.

Rox Resources (ASX:RXL) – Capital Raise.

 

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