Aussie markets have opened with a tingling of anticipation this morning, adding 0.15% the moment the bell rang to let everyone know it was time to get down to business.

Since then, however, it’s been a bumpy ride. The ASX 200 is lurching about like an extra in a George Romero movie, and it’s been anyone’s guess as to where the benchmark is going to be when it’s time to down tools for a pie and a chocolate milk.

Update: It’s now lunch time, and the benchmark is down a tight-arse 3.6 points (not per cent… just points) to be flatter than a freshly-pressed dress shirt.

I know it’s lunch time, and your belly’s probably grumbling to let you know it’s time to put stuff in it so your brain can continue to function, but spare a thought for this young chap who had a tilt at Osama bin Laden’s Hide’n’Seek World Record late last week.

According to local news reports, a 15-year-old lad – identified only as “Fahim” – was “playing hide and seek” at the Chittagong port in Bangladesh, fell asleep and accidentally travelled more than 3,000km to Malaysia, locked inside a cargo container for six days with no food or water.



The poor young fella was obviously highly confused and in a bit of a state when Malaysian officials opened up the container to free him – before breaking the bad news to him that the Malaysian government has decided to save the country $450 by putting him back on the same boat he arrived on, rather than flying him home in style.

Rumours that the decision to post him home rather than springing for an airfare based on the fact that he was sufficiently malnourished, safely beneath the 50kg postage limit and could be couriered home by boat for just $245 are entirely unfounded, because I just made them up.



The ASX, as mentioned, is anything but stable this morning. The needle has been waving about erratically either side of break-even this morning, but thankfully the changes have all been contained within 0.1% of flatline.

That’s despite an enormous surge among tech stocks this morning, with the entire InfoTech sector punching out a 2.96% gain, leaving all comers in its dust. Next best is Real Estate on a comparatively miserable +0.83% climb, while Materials (-0.69%) and Consumer Staples (-0.77%) duke it out for the wooden spoon.

At the tippy top of the town, Wisetech Global (ASX:WTC) – a $20bn market cap behemoth – has put on a stack of value this morning, climbing 6.67%.

Wisetech, the company behind logistics execution software CargoWise, has been on a charge since 25 January, after announcing that it has acquired Envase Technology, a leading provider of transport management system software for intermodal trucking and landside logistics in North America in a transaction valued at US$230 million.

Meanwhile, the old adage that “no news is good news” seems to have been applied quite liberally to a few large caps today – Paladin Energy (ASX:PDN) is on the rise, up 6.8% on no fresh announcements, just like PolyNovo (ASX:PNV) up 6.3% and Megaport (ASX:MP1) up 6.2%.



In the US, Friday’s result wasn’t what you might call spectacular, but all three major indices finished the day in positive territory: The Dow added 0.08%, the S&P climbed 0.25% and the tech-heavy Nasdaq posted the best numbers, up 0.95%.

Earlybird Eddy Sunarto reports that recession risk seems to have faded now as traders price in a much lower Fed hike of just 25bp,  half of what it raised in December, as inflation cools down.

The Fed’s preferred measure of inflation, the so-called core PCE (personal consumption expenditures deflator), also eased from 4.7% to 4.4% according to data released on Friday.

The Fed watches the PCE data closely as it takes into account changing consumer behaviour such as people substituting lower price goods for higher-priced items.

Earnings season continues on Wall Street and this week we’ll see results from Exxon Mobil, GM, Spotify, Pfizer and McDonald’s amongst others.

However, there’s a bit of a shaky feeling among the chipmakers in the US – Intel shares fell 6.4% on Friday and raised alarm for the chips industry as its Q4 earnings disappointed.

The chip maker posted Q4 revenue of US$14.04 billion, a miss of the US$14.49 billion forecast, and EPS (earnings per share) of US$0.10, a miss of the US$0.18 estimate.

But the Big News from the US over the weekend was the US FDA’s surprise announcement that it can’t vouch for the safety of cannabidiol (CBD), a non-psychoactive compound found in cannabis.

In a body blow for the cannabis industry, the FDA said that CBD doesn’t fit the type of supplements or food additives it typically monitors, and claims that science is lacking on the safety of long-term CBD use.

In Asia, Japan’s Nikkei is up around 0.3% this morning, on news that a local fashion company has decided to bring to market a product specifically designed to end humanity.

The company, Hanalolo, has finalised the design of a wearable beanbag – perfect for the family who wants to dress like disappointingly beige Teletubbies and die of congestive heart failure together.



The company says they’re going to cost between US$100-150 apiece, and I want one more than anything in the whole world right now… just as soon as they include an option to assist with the biological waste products of the human body that probably aren’t ideal for storing inside a wearable beanbag that you’re also inside.

And in Crypto News, the always amazing Rob “The Lunch Wrap Bandit” Badman reports that sentiment supporting a New Crpyto Bull Market Thing (I really don’t know…) is on the rise, along with the price of the major coins like BTC, and a bunch of altcoins that all begin with the letter M for some reason.

Rob knows heaps more about it, so head over to Mooners and Shakers for actual, useful information. Do it. Now!



Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for January 30 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Code Company Price % Volume Market Cap
HMI Hiremii 0.075 50% 3,890,050 $5,398,206
EVE EVE Health Group Ltd 0.0015 50% 124,500 $5,274,483
HTG Harvest Tech Grp Ltd 0.098 40% 572,025 $43,343,098
BLG Bluglass Limited 0.049 36% 13,191,541 $48,223,861
VPR Volt Power Group 0.002 33% 57,913 $16,074,312
BPP Babylon Pump & Power 0.006 33% 25,370,688 $11,059,971
ALM Alma Metals Ltd 0.013 30% 5,048,697 $9,140,008
ERG Eneco Refresh Ltd 0.018 29% 150,239 $3,813,017
3DA Amaero International 0.16 28% 261,244 $51,932,527
SI6 SI6 Metals Limited 0.007 27% 84,029 $8,224,670
VAR Variscan Mines Ltd 0.024 26% 1,649,317 $5,067,908
CHL Camplifyholdings 2.2 26% 130,569 $100,927,757
VKA Viking Mines Ltd 0.01 25% 4,358,900 $8,202,067
OKJ Oakajee Corp Ltd 0.032 23% 20,000 $2,377,597
SKN Skin Elements Ltd 0.017 21% 696,614 $6,525,889
CPT Cipherpoint Limited 0.006 20% 2,362,664 $4,692,569
TOE Toro Energy Limited 0.012 20% 9,654,398 $43,588,876
KOB Koba Resources 0.19 19% 1,320,332 $12,160,000
EVZ EVZ Limited 0.2 18% 473,361 $20,505,726
MHC Manhattan Corp Ltd 0.007 17% 300,000 $9,157,672
EEL Enrg Elements Ltd 0.03 15% 220,000 $24,128,048
EMH European Metals Holdings 0.77 15% 41,343 $84,310,464
PMT Patriot Battery Metals 1.585 15% 4,741,728 $165,213,807
VR1 Vection Technologies 0.07 15% 2,342,283 $68,721,927
TKM Trek Metals Ltd 0.083 14% 937,811 $26,386,019
Wordpress Table Plugin


Among the small caps today, there are a couple of players making some very handy moves – and chief among them is tech firm Hiremi (ASX:HMI), up a massive 50% this morning after the company released a barnstorming quarterly.’’

HMI has reported a massive spike in earnings, with Q2 FY23 quarterly revenue of $4,596k 81% higher on the prior comparative period (pcp), while H1 FY23 half year revenue of $9,422k increased by 144% on the pcp.

Hiremi is the team behind AdWriter, which “enables users in any location and any industry to draft a job advert to 80-90% accuracy in under 2 minutes, reducing administration time by over 75% while improving the quality of ads”.

AdWriter works with OpenAI and GPT-3 – the robot-driven AI writing system that will one day become sentient, consume the entire internet and then write a very sternly worded letter to All Humans about how fundamentally awful we actually are as a species.

We’ll ignore it of course – mostly because we’re all too busy blobbing about on the living room floor in our wearable Japanese beanbags to get too concerned.

Also headed skyward this morning is global semiconductor developer BluGlass (ASX:BLG), soaring 38% on news that it has released its first suite of gallium nitride (GaN)

laser products for customer purchase at leading industry conference, SPIE Photonics West in the US.

The lasers span a multitude of applications including; 3D printing, quantum sensing and computing, material sensing, and flow cytometry – which is all very exciting, despite the fact that (probably) none of them make any awesome “pew pew” noises and thus will be useless in the war against the robots that are coming to destroy us, once Hiremi’s ad-writing software figures out its recruitment strategy.

And last on the list of Mentionables this morning is RV rental marketplace company Camplify (ASX:CHL), which has reported over 109.87% growth in GTV pcp (Q2 FY22). The total GTV recorded was $24.7m.

Global revenue figures also grew during this period. For the quarter revenue grew by 63.77% compared with Q2 FY22. The total revenue recorded was $6.59m (unaudited).

While there’s no definitive proof of this theory, it would not be at all surprising to find that a sudden interest in vehicles capable of getting out of town and staying there for prolonged periods is in some way linked to the aforementioned end of all human life as we know it.

Don’t say we didn’t try to warn you…



Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for January 30 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Code Company Price % Volume Market Cap
PRM Prominence Energy 0.001 -33% 23,479 $3,636,913
ENX Enegex Limited 0.034 -21% 943,732 $7,263,389
WTN Winton Land 1.965 -21% 3,158 $735,602,065
WGR Western Gold Resources 0.06 -18% 100,000 $5,257,577
FIJ Fiji Kava Limited 0.01 -17% 5,990,868 $3,823,853
BMO Bastion Minerals 0.059 -16% 6,847,410 $7,532,938
AVD Avada Group Limited 0.7 -15% 48,761 $60,446,395
AJQ Armour Energy Ltd 0.006 -14% 1,299,081 $16,323,987
REC Recharge Metals 0.12 -14% 291,606 $5,571,300
THR Thor Energy PLC 0.006 -14% 1,984,607 $10,187,190
ICR Intelicare Holdings 0.02 -13% 716,668 $4,805,054
SPA Spacetalk Ltd 0.027 -13% 611,032 $7,942,180
ADS Adslot Ltd. 0.007 -13% 2,471,096 $17,634,787
ATU Atrum Coal Ltd 0.007 -13% 3,495,504 $11,133,593
AXP AXP Energy Ltd 0.0035 -13% 170,107 $23,298,723
AHI Advanced Health 0.11 -12% 479,417 $24,506,746
G88 Golden Mile Res Ltd 0.022 -12% 297,577 $5,114,744
OPN Oppenneg 0.055 -11% 350,643 $9,128,763
HCT Holista CollTech Ltd 0.024 -11% 14,000 $7,527,602
IMR Imricor Med Sys 0.24 -11% 149,722 $40,863,859
PCL Pancontinental Energy 0.008 -11% 3,085,571 $67,988,005
IPD Impedimed Limited 0.061 -10% 4,934,210 $121,425,214
CR1 Constellation Res 0.135 -10% 9,767 $7,485,814
FRM Farm Pride Foods 0.09 -10% 18,710 $8,022,149
AD1 AD1 Holdings Limited 0.009 -10% 1,678,700 $7,007,313
Wordpress Table Plugin