Aussie markets opened higher this morning, after Wall Street snapped a 5-day losing streak and made some remarkable gains, despite The Fear breathing down everyone’s necks and generally making us all feel a bit uncomfortable.

When the bell rang for the local markets, the ASX 200 benchmark hiked up its skirts to deliver a +0.79% spurt, which ran out of steam about 10 minutes into the day to leave the market hovering around +0.3 at lunchtime.

Now… ordinarily, I’d have a long-winded, completely hilarious take on a recent news story to help you while away your lunch break in this part of the proceedings.

However, a combination of deadline horrors and a lunatic (not me… a different one) brandishing a large bottle of room temperature pee at my doctor’s surgery this morning means that we need to jump straight into the “important stuff” today.

Normal broadcasts will resume tomorrow, but for now, I present to you the comedy stylings of the ASX.




Energy has continued to take a pounding today, with the sector down another 0.6% at lunch time, compounding yesterday’s drubbing meted out by falling bond yields on a softening oil market.

It’s a tough market at the moment, which only looks to be getting tougher – especially for consumers – after the Australian Energy Regulator (AER) revealed just how hard and how long households are going to get shanked over the next 12 months.

The regulator has revealed draft electricity price increases of between 20 and 22 per cent over the coming financial year, with Victorians set to be slugged up to 30% more to keep their beers cold and the darkness at bay.

Meanwhile, InfoTech has bounced back to the tune of +1.89% after a fraught couple of days, with Health Care (+0.60) and Materials (+0.58%) next best on the list.

But the biggest downer of the day is Consumer Discretionary, which has fallen close to 1.0% so far, with some big names taking a few hits.

Domino’s (ASX:DMP) has dropped nearly 3.0% on news about as fresh as its pizzas – the most recent edict from the fast food chain was the finalisation of the $127 million purchase of Domino’s Pizza Group’s entire German operation by Domino’s Pizza Enterprises.

I jest, of course – I am well aware that the Food™ Dominoes sells is actually fresh – but that only makes the astonishingly poor quality of the Pizza™ all the more baffling.

Also left feeling used and abused today are the Aussie goldies, which barely survived being trampled in the rush for investors to find safe havens, only to be ditched like a frigid debutante today, like a bus full of sex workers of all persuasions blew back into town.



In the US overnight, banking stocks rebounded as Wall Street piled back into risky assets, despite Moody’s Investors Service cutting its view on the entire US banking system from “stable” to “GTFO now”.

Highlight of the announcement was undoubtedly the reason Moody’s took the somewhat dramatic step – i.e. the “rapidly deteriorating operating environment”. That’s like using the phrase “rapid loss of overall skin integrity” to describe someone being attacked with a chainsaw.

But there was some bright news for the US, and specifically for the US Fed, is news that fresh CPI data showed that inflation rose 6% from a year ago, which was the smallest annual gain since September 2021.

It undoubtedly made for some smiles around the breakfast table at Jerome Powell’s house, which has mostly been playing host to the Fed chair cradling a photo of the US economy and sobbing “I think I broke it. F–k.”

The S&P 500 ended the day 1.68% higher, the Dow was up by 1.06%, and tech heavy Nasdaq surged 2.14%.

In Asian market news, Japan’s Nikkei is flat, Hong Kong’s Hang Seng is up 2.13% and Shanghai has popped a +0.64% pimple in very early trade.

And it’s all systems Bubble in cryptoland today, as investors who have been eyeing the unfolding catastrophe in the US and thinking to themselves “I just wish there was somewhere even riskier I could park my money” did precisely that, driving the price of Bitcoin up past $24k and deep into “almost $25k” territory.

Our Crypto Guy, Rob “Told Ya So” Badman has more news in Mooners and Shakers, plus a nifty explainer about why Bitcoin is pumping right now. Two excellent reads, if you’re into that sorta thing.



Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for March 15 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Code Company Price % Volume Market Cap
VTG Vita Group Ltd 0.14 75% 5,243,805 $14,069,747
CCE Carnegie Cln Energy 0.002 33% 269,630 $23,463,861
CLE Cyclone Metals 0.002 33% 512,687 $10,112,605
GNM Great Northern 0.004 33% 1,450,000 $5,127,153
REC Recharge Metals 0.145 32% 1,777,095 $4,377,450
OLI Oliver's Real Food 0.024 26% 410,300 $8,373,906
EMU EMU NL 0.0025 25% 4,968,000 $2,900,043
IEC Intra Energy Corp 0.005 25% 1,100,000 $2,823,126
AHN Athena Resources 0.006 20% 100,000 $5,352,338
TKL Traka Resources 0.006 20% 296,662 $3,613,873
G88 Golden Mile Res Ltd 0.019 19% 6,644,935 $3,273,436
BOC Bougainville Copper 0.36 18% 46,282 $122,324,063
SOP Synertec Corporation 0.27 17% 149,127 $90,880,429
OPL Opyl Limited 0.034 17% 100,015 $2,201,419
AL8 Alderan Resource Ltd 0.007 17% 141,750 $3,469,596
CXU Cauldron Energy Ltd 0.007 17% 182,112 $5,589,408
FAU First Au Ltd 0.0035 17% 200,000 $3,284,350
GWR GWR Group Ltd 0.099 16% 298,417 $27,303,416
VAR Variscan Mines Ltd 0.022 16% 1,145,000 $5,067,908
CG1 Carbonxt Group 0.06 15% 350,023 $14,315,541
BTN Butn Limited 0.195 15% 145,953 $13,322,711
NEU Neuren Pharmaceuticals 11.41 14% 1,262,038 $1,258,868,790
TAS Tasman Resources Ltd 0.008 14% 5,660 $4,698,361
ARO Astro Resources NL 0.081 14% 44,325 $19,134,539
DCL Domacom Limited 0.057 14% 579,798 $21,775,089
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In Small Caps Land, Vita Group (ASX:VTG) has blasted off to the tune of around 72%, after the company revealed that it has entered into a scheme implementation agreement with Practice Management, which would see the latter acquire 100% of VTG for a cash consideration of $0.06255 per share.

Under the terms of the deal, VTG will be permitted to pay a fully franked special dividend of up to $0.06425 per VTG share on or before the scheme implementation date, subject to the scheme being approved by shareholders and the Court.

If the dividend goes ahead, it would have up to approximately $0.02754 per VTG share in franking credits attached.

It’s a big win for VTG shareholders, who would be in line for a total value of up to $0.12680 per VTG share, before the benefit of any franking credits – and the news has sent VTG’s share price up past $0.138.

Meanwhile, Recharge Metals (ASX:REC) is up 31.8% on news it has joined the growing list of Aussie explorers in Quebec’s rapidly expanding lithium rush, announcing that it is set to acquire 100% of the Express lithium project in the prolific James Bay region.

The Express lithium project is located in the heart of James Bay Region; 12km southeast of Allkem’s (ASX:AKE) James Bay deposit which currently boasts 37.2Mt @ 1.3% Li2O), and 15km northeast of Cygnus Metals’ (ASX:CY5) highly regarded Pontax lithium Project.

And last one of note this lunch time is Golden Mile Resources (ASX:G88), up 18.7% after an initial review of the resource drill hole database at its Quicksilver prospect has confirmed significant intersections of scandium mineralisation, including wide high-grade zones of better than 100ppm.

On that news, G88 is set to launch a 2 for 5 renounceable entitlement offer to raise up to $1.3 million (before costs), priced “attractively” at $0.016 per share.



Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for March 15 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Code Company Price % Volume Market Cap
KEY KEY Petroleum 0.001 -33% 5,073 $2,951,892
MRD Mount Ridley Mines 0.003 -25% 1,992,975 $31,139,531
MTH Mithril Resources 0.0015 -25% 119,946 $6,526,180
SRJ SRJ Technologies 0.08 -20% 100,000 $9,463,517
TD1 Tali Digital Limited 0.002 -20% 130,000 $6,937,889
TIA Tian An Aust Limited 0.27 -18% 22,359 $28,580,914
ADR Adherium Ltd 0.0025 -17% 168,000 $14,989,315
29M 29Metalslimited 1.1725 -16% 2,575,205 $670,052,408
RIE Riedel Resources Ltd 0.006 -14% 783,433 $9,601,949
INV Investsmart Group 0.215 -14% 18,888 $34,929,800
GLL Galilee Energy Ltd 0.125 -14% 54,284 $49,087,937
MBK Metal Bank Ltd 0.025 -14% 100,001 $8,018,080
ODM Odin Metals Limited 0.02 -13% 60,000 $17,229,809
X2M X2M Connect Limited 0.081 -13% 87,221 $13,101,261
LAM Laramide Res Ltd 0.5 -12% 83 $724,557
CYL Catalyst Metals 1 -12% 164,967 $170,544,225
RHY Rhythm Biosciences 0.515 -11% 312,539 $125,957,202
TGH Terragen 0.04 -11% 2,000 $8,730,866
ATH Alterity Therapy Ltd 0.008 -11% 14,715,604 $21,747,766
AVE Avecho Biotech Ltd 0.008 -11% 792,900 $16,540,824
LSR Lodestar Minerals 0.004 -11% 41,700 $7,822,968
M4M Macro Metals Limited 0.004 -11% 589 $8,806,850
R3D R3D Resources Ltd 0.035 -10% 19,813 $4,415,903
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