The ASX has had another morning in the verdant green of positivity, following Wall St up with a 1.3% pump as the bell rang.

The gains are being led by Tech companies this morning, which leads nicely into our topic of discussion for today, a masterclass on how to send tweets with both feet wedged firmly in your mouth.

Twitter is, and has always been, a profoundly terrible idea. It was supposed to democratise the sharing of ideas, but we quickly learned that if you give everyone a megaphone, the result is a cacophony of banality.

Turns out, in cyberspace, everyone can hear you scream. Whether they want to or not.

It came as absolutely zero shock when the platform was quickly dominated by people who already had a loud voice. Popular people. Beautiful people.

And rich people. Big, dumb and egotistical people with so much money they think they know everything, and won’t shut up about it.

Which brings us to everyone’s favourite cartoon villain, Elon Musk, who is – without doubt – a shining example of why Twitter is such an obnoxious invention.

In Musk’s case, it’s an outlet for him to offer up what he earnestly believes are bite size chunks of wisdom, which are routinely either completely tone deaf or heroically, bafflingly stupid.

In the past few weeks, there have been some Classic Elon Twitter Moments, which prove that money can’t buy you love, happiness or – apparently – self-awareness.

Like this recent example, where Musk made a big reveal of Tesla’s addition to the world of robotics.



It’s heartening to know that when the time comes and the world needs a robot that dances like it’s just downed a pint of whiskey and walks like it’s s–t its pants, Tesla’s got us covered.

Meanwhile, as the whole of Florida was swallowed up by Hurricane Ian, Musk saw an opportunity to spruik his mostly-non-existant Cybertruck… that thing on wheels that looks like it was designed by a 7-year-old on the back of a McDonald’s placemat.



Translation: “I made a definitely-real truck that will bob like a stray turd if your neighbourhood gets flooded… you know, like when a hurricane blows the entire ocean up your street.”

Or there’s this ripe, juicy nugget of International Relations, when Musk dipped his toes into the war between Russia and Ukraine:



There is so much that could be said about how appallingly naive that is – but we’ll leave that to, perversely, Twitter itself.



And this one, from someone who is clearly a Very Smart Person, is our favourite:


So we’re left with the impression that Mr Musk should probably avoid using Twitter – which is going to be difficult, given that he’s probably about to own it.

Musk is pushing ahead with the buyout, Twitter’s trading 23% higher – and when he’s in control of the platform, you can bet your bottom Tweet that there will be more Musk than anyone could reasonably handle.

God help us all… but in the meantime, let’s look at the markets, because at least there’s something to smile about there.



Aussie markets have opened higher this morning, following a fabulous session on Wall Street overnight that saw all the major US indices climbing higher.

The ASX 200 jumped 1.3% at open, and as we head towards the Sandwiching Hour, the benchmark is hovering around a 1.5% gain for the morning.

Across the sectors, it’s almost all green and growing greener, on the shoulders of some super-strong results in InfoTech (+3.37%) and Financials (+2.18%).

The only laggard this morning is Consumer Staples, which has sagged to a -0.24% morning, possibly on news that Coles has made a consumer-friendly move to lock-in prices of everyday items until at least January, to “help ordinary Australians make ends meet in these tough times”, or words to that effect.

Among the Big Money winners this morning is James Hardie Industries, which has begun its traditional pre-Bathurst 1000 Supercar Extravaganza climb as motor racing fans get nostalgic about when it was still the Hardie Ferodo 500.

Meanwhile, Block Inc (ASX:SQ2) and Judo Capital (ASX:JDO) have both had a good morning, after yesterday’s rate rise helped boost value thanks to their leverage to rising interest rates.

Time for a quick spin of the globe…



In the US, last night was another solid performance on Wall Street, which has boosted local sentiment and helped dig US investors out of their probably-not-a-recession woes.

The Dow added 2.80%, outperformed by the S&P (+2.06%) and the Nasdaq (+3.36%).

As Our Man in the Field Eddy Sunarto reports, bad economics data has become good news for the stock markets these days as they lessen the chance of a more aggressive Fed stance.

The RBA’s surprise decision yesterday to hike by just 25bp has set the tone, and now a lot of traders on Wall Street are expecting the Fed to also soften their tightening pace.

US Treasuries extended their advance (yields fell) after the labour report, with the benchmark 10-yr yield falling another 3bp.

In Asia, China’s Golden Week continues to keep markets closed, so there’s no action there. Same in Hong Kong, too.

Japan, however, is functioning – and the Nikkei is up a measly 0.18%, as a global shortage of anime waifu body pillows threatens to scuttle Japan’s national economy.

It’s either that, or North Korea’s startlingly reckless rocket launches over Japan has everyone spooked, because there is precisely zero guarantee of Dear Leader’s rockets landing where they’ve been aimed.

In Crypto Land, where the coins only jingle if you put your ear up really close to your monitor while someone in the next room shakes their house keys, Bitcoin is up 3.34% and above the US$20,000 mark again.

There’s no link to Mooners and Shakers today, because Rob “Sorry lads, I was at a press junket all morning” Badman has been at a press junket all morning, pocketing as much swag as he can carry from Coinbase’s official Australian launch.



Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for October 5 [intraday]:

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In Small Caps, AD1 Holdings (ASX:AD1) has recovered from a bit of a crash yesterday, adding 41.4%, to top the charts this morning. There’s no real news to explain the jump, other than director Michael Norton’s recent dip into the piggy bank to drop *checks notes* $1995.75 on more company shares.

This morning’s super-interesting jump, though, belongs to Harvest Technology Group, which has announced that global humanitarian emergency relief team International Rescue (no, really… that’s what they’re called) has signed on to use HTG’s tech to help in their quest to save lives around the world.

No word yet on how much of HTG’s Nodestream™ Ruggedised technology is going to be used by the puppeteering team, or how many new episodes of Thunderbirds we’re likely to see, but it’s heartening to know that should we ever get into major trouble somewhere on the planet, there’s a far more reliable team than Paw Patrol ready and willing to come to our aid.



Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for October 5 [intraday]:

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