A Canadian researcher is doing what Canadian researchers do best – sounding the alarm bells of impending doom, because they’ve made a discovery that could fundamentally alter the future of the human race.

In this instance, it’s the upcoming Invasion of the Superpigs.

Ryan Brook, associate professor of agriculture at the University of Saskatchewan – it’s a real place… look it up – is shouting from the rooftop that the future of Canadian cities will include having to deal with enormous numbers of equally enormous feral pigs.

“Be calm and move slowly,”  Canada warns. “Do not corner or provoke the animal.”

Wait, that’s not right…

Residents of Alberta province are first on the list, Brook says. Indeed, residents of Lamont are already being schooled on how to cope with the incursion of super-massive oinkers within city limits.

Ah that’s better. Feral pig! Via Getty

As with all things that are trending in a certain direction, the obvious outcome of this terrifying news is that it will clearly continue to get worse, until every city in the world is overwhelmed and conquered by a drift of hogs and Orwell’s Animal Farm becomes a terrifying reality.

Either that, or the Canadians will figure out how to kill the animals, and the rest of the planet will be forced to endure the unrelenting horror that is Canadian bacon.

Anyway… to markets, to markets, to buy a fat pig.

To Markets

The ASX 200 is down a little from yesterday’s gains, and is looking like it’s going to see out the month with a whimper, not a bang.

Overall, the ASX has dropped ~0.25%, dragged down by an underperforming tech sector, even as steeply rising oil prices – up ~2.4% overnight – have helped buoy energy stocks.

The Australian market has also put in a tepid response to news out of Shanghai that a sizeable 50-point stimulus plan is set to be rolled out to help the city climb out of its Covid-slump.

The stimulus plan has helped Chinese lithium plays to gain steam, with the Chinese government announcing a $2,000 incentive to anyone who wants to trade in their old gas-guzzling beater for a shiny new EV.

AGL (ASX:AGL) continued to feel the fallout from yesterday’s pantsing at the hands of Atlassian’s bearded boardroom brawler, Mike Cannon-Brookes. AGL’s price dipped early but recovered in wobbly trade to be flat by lunchtime.

And the excitement appears to have worn off for Bubs Australia (ASX:BUB), as it dropped ~5.0% after yesterday’s stunning rush.

Overseas, and Wall Street had the day off for Memorial Day proceedings. Meanwhile, Asian markets are putting up mixed results, with Shanghai (+0.24%) and Hong Kong (+0.27%) inching into the green.

Taiwan has moved the other way, dropping 0.32% as the market reacted to yet another round of Chinese sabre-rattling, after Beijing sent a fleet of 30 military jets into Taiwan airspace on Monday.

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for May 31 [intraday]:
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Belarox limited (ASX:BRX) climbed ~25.0% on the back of an expansion of its resource and development area, in and – importantly, around – its Belara Exploration Area.

The company says it’s identified 34 new exploration targets outside the Belara and Native Bee resource area, including 11 new high priority targets with a combined strike of 8 kilometres, which is about eight times the length of currently known mineralisation.

And Tyranna Resources’ (ASX:TYX) news out of Angola has kept investors on the boil again this morning, adding another 22.0% to yesterdays impressive results.

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the worst performing ASX small cap stocks for May 25 [intraday]:

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Losers