The ASX has opened lower this morning. It’s Wall Street’s fault, and it’s important that you know that you’ve done nothing wrong. So shhh… it’s okay.

To take our minds off our market dragging its butt this morning, we’re going to visit Japan – a nation that is, to anyone who isn’t Japanese, (and probably quite a few people who are), a gloriously weird place.

From talking dunnies through to inexplicably popular comic books about rapey cephalopods, for such a geographically small nation, it packs a real wallop when it comes to rich cultural heritage and history. In particular, when it comes to combat.

We’re gonna mostly cheerfully gloss over all of the outstandingly horrific aspects of Japan’s battlefield exploits, but mention some of them here so that we don’t end up being accused of peace-washing the more unpalatable brutality of Japan’s military history.

Instead, we’re going to focus on how Japanese fighters were trained using disciplines and combat sports.

Take, for instance, sumo wrestling – ancient Japan’s nod to the fact that fat people need to exercise more, but there’s no polite way of bringing that up with obese people, because it makes them cry.

Instead, Japan turned being grossly overweight into a badge of honour for fat men, and built a sport around it. They rounded up the tubbiest lads they could find, dressed them only in a cross between a nappy and a Year 12 Formal cummerbund, put their hair up in a bun and made them wrestle.

Which is fine because it’s a traditional sport, and absolutely not at all a demeaning spectacle for thin people who enjoy watching fat people fight – and if it were any more Japanese, the winner would be crowned Emporer and the loser would have to murder a whale.

For thin folks who want to fight each other, there are loads more options in Japan. And, again, there are thousands of years of history that have given rise to what looks like it’ll be the fighting event of the year.

The city of Koka, in Japan’s Shiga Prefecture, was once the base of operations for the infamous Koga ninja clan – considered the most secretive and deadly of all of Japan’s martial artists.

So stealthy are the ninja, that while you may not see them, statistically speaking the average Australian household has at least six ninjas living in it, and there is a pervading theory that each of us will, unknowingly, eat at least four ninjas in our sleep, every year.

… or that might be about spiders. We’ll check that and get back to you.

Anyway, there’s been a call out for people who wish to be a Ninjas – or Japan’s other wildly popular combatant, a Samurai – and do battle in the ruins of Koja’s Minakuchi Okayama Castle, a stronghold once controlled by Samurai master Natsuka Masaie some 400 years ago. And that’s 50 ninja, and 50 samurai.

So, on 22 October, 100 mentallists will be hacking away at each other, in the dead of night, and it’s anyone’s guess who’s going to win – probably because the organisers have put together a set of highly complex rules, because… Japan.

Don’t believe us? Here’s a 30-minute video explaining it all, in Peak Japanese style.

As far as fights go, this one has all the hallmarks of being either hugely epic, or a hilariously massive misfire, so either way, it’s going to be one to watch out for.

But now, it’s time to go and see just how much blood is being spilt on the ASX floor, as the secretive sell-off ninjas have been typically industrious this morning.



Aussie markets opened lower this morning, after a soggy show on Wall Street which saw the major US indices land in a puddle of red overnight.

The benchmark dipped 0.7% out of the gate, and has struggled to gain positive traction all morning, with losses led by a savage -1.91% by Real Estate, with InfoTech (-1.00%), Telcos (-0.99%) and Materials (-0.83%) lumbering along behind.

The solitary outlier this morning has been the Energy sector, up +0.90% and cheerfully ignoring peer pressure to go sit with the Gloomy Goth crowd to eat its lunch.

Doing Big Business with the Billionaires this morning is Stanmore Resources (ASX:SMR), juicing up a tidy 5.0% on news that it has completed its purchase of the remaining 20% interest in BHP Mitsui Coal, now renamed Stanmore SMC, held by Mitsui.

Meanwhile, Karoon Energy (ASX:KAR) is careening off into greener pastures, off the back of an infrastructure win at its Baúna oil field which has seen it lift production to ~22,000 bopd.

Today’s 9.6% surge is mostly due to KAR’s win at the negotiation table with the Brazilian National Agency for Petroleum, Natural Gas and Biofuels (ANP), where it has secured a significant decrease in its royalties overhead.

Leading the Large Losers club today, though, is Iluka Resources (ASX:ILU), which has seen then $4 billion market cap miner fall 5.2% as part of a broader sector-wide sell down.

That’s enough broadview Aussie guff for the moment… let’s head back overseas to see what’s happening around some other parts of the world.



In the US, Wall Street fell because it’s old and infirm. The Dow fell hardest, down 1.15%, the S&P fell over (-1.02%) while trying to help the Dow and the tech heavy Nasdaq broke both its thumbs and a hip (-0.68%) while trying to use its new “Call Me An Amberlamps” emergency assistance app.

In Asia, China’s Golden Week is dragging to a close today, so everyone’s still on holidays there. Hong Kong, on the other hand, has been extremely busy shedding value this morning, and is down 1.04% so far.

In Japan, where scientists have been hard at work breeding highly-anticipated half-Sumo/half-Ninja warriors, whose appetite for blood is only matched by their appetite for high calorie food, the Nikkei is down 0.50%.

It’s a bit of a Red Wedding at the commodities desk, too. Oil is own 0.1% and gas has leaked -1.88% as well.

Gold is down 0.16%, silver is down 0.15%, copper is down 0.78% – and we owe a small apology to all our wheat-lovers we made fun of yesterday, who are laughing at us around mouths full of Uncle Toby, with a 0.68% rise for the day so far.

In Magic Crypto Alley, where magicians conjure profits out of thin air while you get your pockets picked clean as you watch on in wonder, Bitcoin and ETH are trading slightly higher.

You can get all the details from Rob “The Magician’s Assistant’s Tits” Badman, over at Mooners and Shakers



Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for October 7 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Wordpress Table Plugin

Top of the Small Caps Chart this morning is miner DGR Global (ASX:DGR), which has spiked 33% on absolutely no news, except for a statement of accounts from a week ago that said the company had lost some $9,169,564 in the past 12 months. #ScoobyDooMysteryMachine. #WouldHaveGotAwayWithItIfItWerentForYouPeskyKids

Elsewhere (and making a whole lot more sense), Forrestania Resources (ASX:FRS) is up 18.8% after announcing this morning that it’s accepted binding commitments for a Placement of 18.0 million shares at an issue price of $0.15 per share to raise $2.7 million and fund its quest to climb Mount Lithium.

On the wrong side of the coin this morning, however, are Mt Thirsty JV partners Conico (ASX:CNJ) and Greenstone (ASX:GSR).

The pair have taken some solid body blows this morning, after initial assay results from Mt Thirsty failed to quench investors’ thirst for Moar Gold. The companies, however, are putting on a brave face, remaining positive that with a bit more drilling left to do, they’re going to hit the resource levels that they believe are there… hiding, like ninjas, no doubt.



Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for October 7 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Wordpress Table Plugin