The ASX has opened with a solid pump and thrust, standing proud and firm at +0.7% following a rock-hard performance from Wall Street overnight.

The US markets are gearing up for an important day off on Thursday, when the entire country gets together to give thanks that they weren’t Native Americans when the Pilgrims arrived in 1620 and started begging for food.

And so, it’s with Thanksgiving in our minds that we turn to today’s news story – and take the opportunity to stop and think about the things that we’re grateful for – like meat pies, proper football and the fact that Kanye West couldn’t possibly ever be considered a viable candidate to run our wide, brown land.

In America, though, Thanksgiving inevitably means a lengthy, drawn out Salute to the Troops – because the US is probably only months away from redesigning its $1 banknotes so they bear the slogan “Thank You For Your Service” instead of the far more divisive “E Pluribus Unum”.

The Salute to the Troops usually takes place at sporting events, strip malls and the occasional road rage incident, and involves members of the armed forces standing around listlessly, listening to a crowd going apes–t through the fog of PTSD.

NFL games are notorious for filling in the yawning chasms of inaction between events on the field with heavily-militaristic tributes. But, as with all things, even something solemn and sincere will inevitably go wrong when you ask the internet to be a part of it – as the Minnesota Vikings found out the hard way.

At a recent home game, the Vikings social media team issued a Tweet: “Share photos and stories of your loved ones who have served or are currently serving using #SkolSalute for a chance to win a pair of tickets.”

And so began a list of heartfelt tributes to family members and friends of people who’d served or were currently on active duty somewhere in the world, shooting at strangers because that’s what you do when you’re in Syria.

All was going fine, until this happened:

 


The social media team, quite obviously not regular consumers of adult entertainment, missed it completely. The internet, however, did not – because those among us who spend nearly every waking hour online instantly recognised the young Ron Howard lookalike as Johnny Sins.

Sins is, according to the internet, one of the most versatile actors in the world. Over the course of his illustrious career, he’s played a doctor, an astronaut, a dentist, an engineer, a debt collector, a teacher, a taxi driver – and a member of the US armed forces, obviously.

As a prefix to all of those roles, you could add the words “very friendly” if you’re into euphemisms – but if you’re not, just put “horny” in front and you’ll get the idea – because porn star Johnny Sins has popped his pecker in more people than most of us could count with one hand.

The Tweet on its own is no big deal – but the fact that the social media team put it up on the JumboTron at the Vikings game was…

 

But enough about porn stars… it’s time to talk turkey about what’s happening on the markets today.

 

TO MARKETS

The ASX opened with a real spring in its step this morning, jumping 0.7% when the bell rang and holding steady around that mark as investors began to ponder what might feel good in their tum-tums for lunch.

Almost every sector is having a crackerjack hump day – with the notable exception of InfoTech, which is singin’ the blues to the tune of a 0.91% grump.

Up top, though, Energy (+1.78%) and Industrials (+1.21%) are leading the charge, with Materials (+0.91%) and Financials (+0.73%) plugging along behind.

Flying high at the pointy end of the plane this morning is Qantas (ASX:QAN), up 5.4% after the national carrier announced a $150 million profit upgrade driven by strong consumer demand.

And as you’d expect with the Energy and Materials sectors on a charge, some of the bigger diggers are into the money this morning, including Whitehaven (ASX:WHC), up 5.6% and Chalice Mining (ASX:CHN), up 6.45% as well.

 

NOT THE ASX

Earlybird Eddy Sunarto chirped in this morning to tell us that energy stocks paced Wall St higher by around 1% overnight, ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday.

The S&P and the Nasdaq both finished +1.36%, with the Dow trundling along at the back, gnashing its false teeth and looking for its bifocals while grunting out a 1.18% rise.

In Asia, there’s some good news as well: Japan’s Nikkei has jumped 0.61% despite obviously fake news that the Nintendo Switch eShop is marketing highly questionable adult-oriented interactive Hentai games to its users at rock bottom prices.

In Hong Kong, the trend is upwards with a 0.51% rise in very early trade, while Shanghai has opened flatter than a day old can of Coke, which we shouldn’t have to tell you does not form part of a healthy breakfast. #TrustMeOnThis #MyLifeIsAMess.

In Crypto, things have turned Crapto for the Argentinian soccer team’s ARG token, which flopped harder than a French centre-mid after Argentina’s loss to Saudi Arabia (no, really…) at the World Cup overnight.

There’s reasons for it – but to find out what they are, you’ll need to head over to Rob “Stop Touching My Penalty Box” Badman’s Mooners & Shakers for all the deets.

 

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for November 23 [intraday]:

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Another day, another Small Cap has gone zooming off into the stratosphere – and today it’s Codrus Minerals’ (ASX:CDR) turn, after the company announced it has acquired a high-grade REE project busting at the seams with niobium.

Codrus says its all set to earn up to 90% of the Karloning Rare Earth Element (REE) Project, located in WA’s Wheatbelt, 260km northeast of Perth, which has “demonstrated the presence of high-grade and high-value permanent magnet rare earths dysprosium, neodymium, terbium and praseodymium in xenotime within a large-scale pegmatite”.

Investors like weird words like that, apparently – and so they’ve piled on faster than a pack of piglets round a fat, milky sow… and CDR is trading 117% higher at lunchtime as a result.

Codrus isn’t alone in the Big Gains list today; BSA (ASX:BSA) has leapt 67% on news that it’s selling off its APS Maintain business to NYSE-listed Fortune 150 mob CBRE Group, for a cool $20 mill.

And Mitre Mining (ASX:MMC) is up around 33% this morning, on news that it’s buying the Bellpark Minerals, holus-bolus, making Mitre the new owner of the East Pilbara Lithium and Mount Alexander Lithium Projects.

Those should be familiar project names for anyone following the lithium diggers in Australia  – which is, I suspect, pretty much all of you – but for those not in the know, they represent some of the most highly prospective lithium territories in the country.

Those areas are also home to a number of highly regarded lithium plays, with Mitre now able to call Red Dirt (ASX:RDT), Zenith Minerals (ASX:ZNC), and St George Mining (ASX:SGQ) neighbours.

 

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for November 23 [intraday]:

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