Australian markets have opened with a thud this morning, hitting the ground face first like it’s been pole-axed out the front of a dicey underground London nightclub called “-1.1%”.

The benchmark has recovered slowly, so things could be worse. For example, something might have happened this morning that confirms that we, as a species, really are living in a simulation, and that this particular iteration of that world is being scripted by some highly talented satirists.

If you ever needed proof of that theory, I present to you Exhibit A:

Former President of the United States of America, Donald J Trump, has launched his own range of NFTs – and for the bargain basement price of just US$99, you can own your very own Digital Trading Card featuring “Amazing ART of my Life & Career”, Trump says.

Ladies and gentlemen… we have officially hit Peak Trump.

 

asx lunch Trump NFT
These are 100% real. Pic: collecttrumpcards.com

#OMGWTFROFL #MySides…

Again, in Trump’s words, he helps explain to his intended audience that each individual piece of the NFT collection is “very much like a baseball card, but hopefully much more exciting!”.

Way to really sell it there, Mr President.

The video sales pitch is… well, it’s certainly something – and it tells a visual story that I suspect would take a lot more than 1,000 monkeys on 1,000 typewriters to beat.

 

 

There is SO MUCH to unpack with this that it’s verging on impossible. Our resident crypto guru Rob “It’s OK – I understand what this means” Badman has a lot of the technical side of it covered over at Mooners & Shakers.

But some of the highlights of buying your very own Trump NFT include the fact that everyone who buys one also goes into the draw to win prizes, such as a dinner at a fancy Trump Tower restaurant in Vegas, or New York.

Menu items there include burnt steak and ketchup and, of course, all the Hamberders you could possibly stomach.

Trump NFT owners can also win the chance to have a Zoom call (no, really…) from Ol’ 45 himself.

Please, just take a moment to think about how horrifyingly awkward most Zoom calls are when you’re connecting with strangers… and now ponder how that sort of thing would go with a time-poor narcissistic geriatric gurning at you through a webcam.

 

asx lunch Trump NFT
… Please send help. I cannot stop laughing at how appallingly dumb these are.

 

I don’t think the Trump team has really thought that one through. It couldn’t possibly go horribly wrong, though, because the internet is a wonderful place where only good things happen, right? Right…?

Purchasing a picture of Donald Trump dressed up like hes’s off to a cowboy-themed nightclub for gentlemen of a particular sexual orientation could also win you a chance to actually meet him in person.

Second prize in that category is having to meet him in person twice.

Best of all – every Donald Trump NFT comes with the promise of a Presidential Pardon for any involvement in the January 6 insurrection.

(I made that last one up.)

If you’ve got some time to spare and can handle the prospect of getting dumber by the second just looking at stuff, the Trump NFT is here, in all of its bewildering glory.

So, if there’s a special someone in your life who you secretly hate but have to buy a Christmas present for, this could be your lucky day… or you could grab yourself a handful, like this plucky young lass.

 

 

 

TO MARKETS

The ASX sunk by 1.1% in early trade today, because Wall Street had a thunderously bad session overnight. We’ll get to that in a moment, but the good news is that local markets performed comparatively well, and the rally to break even is underway.

As we rolled into lunch time, the benchmark was worming its way up to 0.6% down, which is loads better than the US markets.

Sector-wise, things are looking like the Red Army’s been in town for the day – InfoTech (-1.5%), Health Care (-1.30%) and Utilities (-1.24%) are working their way through an outbreak of profound sadface.

Energy (+0.51%) and Materials (+0.37%) are doing their best, but with a -0.88% Financials millstone round their necks, it’s not looking too promising for the rest of the day.

The only Large Cap to star in either of the winners and losers charts today is copper miner 29Metals (ASX:29M), which is copping a -6.5% hiding on absolutely no news at all.

 

NOT THE ASX

Overnight, the New York Stock Exchange did its very best to lurch six blocks down Wall Street and sink into the East River, with all the major indices taking heavy casualties as the session wore on.

“The tech-heavy Nasdaq fell by over 3% in New York as investors worry the Fed might be deliberately attempting to tip the economy into a recession in order to bring inflation under control,” Early Eddy Sunarto reports.

Both the S&P 500 and Dow Jones indexes also fell sharply, down by 2.5% and 2.25% respectively.

The negative sentiment was further exacerbated by the downbeat US retail sales report, which showed a fall of 0.6% in November, suggesting that consumers may have succumbed to inflation.

Meanwhile in the UK, the Bank of England (BoE) raised its key rate by a half a per cent to 3.50%, the highest level since 2008. The BoE minutes noted that more rate hikes could be needed.

“The Bank of England seems to be intentionally driving the UK’s consumer-led economy into a deeper recession, putting households and business harder under the cosh, in order to cool inflation,” said Nigel Green, CEO of consulting firm deVere.

And Europe is also all aboard the Rate Train, hiking its key rate by 50bps.

In Asia, the Nikkei’s been hit hard by US sentiment, falling 1.58% while Hong Kong and Shanghai are also down, shedding 0.76% and 0.23% respectively.

 

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for December 16 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

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Among the Small Caps this morning, Meteoric Resources (ASX:MEI) is living up to its name, hurtling up 93.8% this morning on news that it’s bought a Tier 1 Ionic Clay Rare Earth Element (REE) project in the Minas Gerais State of Brazil.

Boasting intercepts from surface that include 20m @ 8,924ppm TREO ending in 9,945ppm TREO, 11m @ 6,763ppm TREO ending in 25,341ppm TREO and 19m @ 6,895ppm TREO ending in 7,840ppm TREO (along with a lengthy list of other similar results) it’s clearly an absolute banger of a buy for Meteoric.

Next best is Norwest Energy (ASX:NWE), which is soaring after an off-market takeover offer from Mineral Resources (ASX:MIN).

The offer is one fully paid ordinary share in MinRes for every 1,367 Norwest Energy shares, which is a premium of 33% to yesterday’s closing price of Norwest.

That’s a 27% premium to the one-month volume weighted average and an 11% premium to the 52-week high of $0.054 on 30 August this year.

Norwest has shot up 33.33% on the news, and is currently trading at %0.060 – bang on the money for the offer on the table.

And rounding out today’s Top Three is Boadicea Resources (ASX:BOA), which has been enjoying a bodacious bump of 20% on recent news that the company has been granted its licence for the Hanns Gully lithium project in the Croydon district of North Queensland.

At the same time, BOA has also kicked off drilling at its Kookaburra Well REE project, part of the requirements of its farm-in agreement with Autumn Gold at the site.

 

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for December 16 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

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