ASX Small Caps Lunch Wrap: Who else is fond of a shaggy dog story?

Seattle has gifted the world some remarkable things. It gave us grunge music, and …  Anyway – straight outta Seattle comes a tale of criminality, scary attack dogs, stray bullets and a hapless burglar, which reads like someone got 1000 monkeys to re-write the script for a Jason Statham Bad Guy Geezer crime romp.

Just your typical Woman Shot After She Burglarises Apartment, Frees Dogs Who Attack Residents story

It all started when a lady called the local constabulary to complain about being attacked by three pitbulls. She hears barking goes downstairs, the dogs attack her, chewing some tasty arm – and here’s where things start to get a bit screwy – the police arrive, (dogs fearing cops return to apartment).  New police arrive for a different reason – another resident causing trouble, trying to open everyone’s doors – but, inherently lazy and finding no one to brutally assault or arrest, cops leave.

In three minutes they’re back after new reports of shots fired – and here’s where things get extra-screwy – the trio of ravenous four-legged killing machines are now on the loose again chewing stuff and people.

Thinking fast, the building manager did the Only Sensible Thing – luring dogs into the street. Problem solved.

…until the woman who’d been trying everyone’s doorknobs demands the animals come back inside. Super says nope – so she tries to bring the animals in.

Dogs currently trying to kill small dog now being hoisted in air above screaming owner’s head.

Super now rushes outside, draws weapon fires one warning shot into the air – hitting the doorknob-rattling woman – then shoots dogs.

A tragic tale if ever we’ve heard one, but – as with all good crime thrillers – there’s a surprise twist at the end.

The only reason the three pitbulls had gotten loose in the first place? The woman who’d been shot had accidentally let them out, while burgling the unit they lived in after rattling the door knob and finding the front door unlocked.

(And just in case you thought we were just making stuff up, here’s the Seattle PD’s own blog post about it. God Bless ‘Murica, right?)

TO MARKETS

Aussie markets opened with an audible gasp of exasperation, falling 0.6% as quick as look at ya when the doors opened this morning, and steadfastly remaining well below yesterday’s close.

Energy (-1.41%), Real Estate (-1.81%), Materials (-1.76%) and Utilities (-0.58%) were the main culprits with their boots on the neck of the market this morning, despite valiant efforts from The Consumer Twins, with Staples (+0.44%) and Discretionary (+0.21%) both trying real hard.

With the market looking ugly, it’s no surprise that there aren’t any Large Cap winners to announce.

But if you’re here looking for Big Dollar Losers, baby come on in – we’ve got loads.

Adding to yesterday’s woes are Champion Iron (ASX:CIA), down another 5.0% and United Malt (ASX:UMG), which added a further 5.8% to its woes.

Also in the mix is Graincorp (ASX:GNC), down 5.2% as it faces similar issues that have United Malt on the ropes.

And the market seems to be dismayed by results reporting from Centuria Office (ASX:COF), which hacked and sputtered out a 9.2% loss, which doesn’t seem fair because its excitingly-named “Property Compendium” sounds like a real page-turner.

We’ll get to the Small Caps ups-and-downs in a minute, because it’s time to look through the Arch Window and see what Big Ted’s been up to on the foreign markets.

NOT THE ASX

A quick look overseas, and Eddy’s morning wrap up tells us that all three major US indices – the S&P 500, Dow, and Nasdaq – fell by less than 0.3% on the first trading day of the month after a bumper July.

Recent weak manufacturing data in the US, China and the EU, in addition to the potential visit to Taiwan by the US Speaker of the House of Reps, Democrat Nancy Pelosi, causing uncertainty across markets.

“Despite a robust July, Wall Street still has the mindset that the recent stock market gains are still just a bear-market rally,” said OANDA analyst, Edward Moya.

“Rising tensions amongst the two world largest economies also won’t support risk appetite anytime soon.”

The US energy sector fell by 2% overnight after a tumble in crude prices of around 4%. This week will all about the OPEC+ meeting as the market hopes for an unlikely increase in output from the cartel.

“The White House is hoping OPEC+ will deliver more production, but what will truly motivate the oil cartel is the recent rise in US production and potential loss for market share as exports have increased significantly,” Moya said.

In Asia, and the markets are down, like a sadface clown who’s locked his keys in his car, trapping 27 of his mates inside.

Japan’s Nikkei has slumped (-1.46$), Shanghai’s fallen (-1.62%) and Hong Kong is taking a beating, down 2.32% as we head towards lunch.

It’s all a bit awful in commodities as well, with oil down 0.5% and natural gas down 1.73%, much to the anger  of King Liam the Flatulent, who relies on natural gas to fund his video game habit.

Silver is down 0.28% and copper is down 1.72%, however gold has bucked the trend, rising 0.36%, possibly because our man Josh is at Diggers and Dealers in Kalgoorlie, reporting live for as long as he’s able to stay on his feet.

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for August 2 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

In Small Caps, and up above the “I’ll give you a share of the company for a lick of your ice cream” value levels, and it’s Plexure Group (ASX:PX1) (+19.7%), still climbing on the back of its renewed deal with the burger-slinin’ clowns at McDonald’s.

Climbing fastest this morning, however, has been recruitment and training mob GO2 People (ASX:GO2), which has jumped 50% since open.

Also doing well today were three miners we don’t see too often in the Lunch Wrap: Breaker Resources (ASX:BRB) is up 17.5%, Pinnacle Minerals (ASX:PIM) has added 19.2% and Coolabah Metals (ASX:CBH) is up 17.2%.

On the losing side, and outside of the penny stocks (because there are plenty of minnows have bad mornings), and it’s Appen (ASX:APX) taking the worst of today’s poundings, down 28% and sinking on news that Group revenue is down 7%, New Markets revenue has dropped 6%.

Also falling fast this morning was PPK (ASX:PPK), on no immediate news that would be affecting its main income stream of diesel powered underground mining vehicles, other than a lot of people talking about shifting their underground operations to battery-power and renewables over the next few years.

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for August 2 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort: