It’s a happy shiny morning in crypto-land, Coinheads… Mostly.

Bitcoin has continued its apparent rise from the grave, up 8% and through US$23,300 in the past 24 hours, and ETH is riding high, up more than 50% for the week thanks to the Merge Surge – and here’s a picture to firm up your soft wallets a little this morning.

ETH crypto morning
Chart via coinmarketcap

But all’s not well behind the scenes at crypto-tech firms, where “job security” is looking like a safety net knitted from fresh-cooked spaghetti.

Grab a coffee – and your ankles – the bumpy ride’s not quite over yet.


FBI bags North Korean hacker funds

Big news for the FBI, after it announced that it’s managed to track and then seize crypto funds that it says belong to North Korean hackers.

The Feds say they nabbed US$500k in crypto that had been paid to a ransomware group that got into a Kansas hospital system in 2021. says North Korean hackers have been busy in recent times, with state sponsored groups making off with hundreds of millions in ill-gotten crypto over recent years.

It possibly could have been more lucrative, but word on the street is that the groups have to deal with significant lag issues while Dear Leader gets his regular Call of Duty fix each day.


Gemini joins the workforce slash’n’burn. Again.

Crypto exchange Gemini – the one that’s run by those weird twins who reckon they invented Facebook – has pushed another 7% of its workforce into the cold, according to

It follows a 10% cut less than seven weeks ago, in a move indicative of the struggles exchanges and platforms are still having while they adapt to life post the November droop.

The announcement from Gemini’s leadership team was (predictably) leaked, as was the company’s response to the leak, which it said was “super lame”. Yikes.

That’s a Pretty Serious Burn, and I’d normally say heads are gonna roll – but Gemini’s waaay ahead of us on that one.


Coinbase suspends US affiliate program

Meanwhile, over at Forbes, Coinbase’s decision to put its incentivised membership drive on hold is being called a “major red flag”, and points to “a possible liquidity crisis on the horizon”.

Obviously, Coinbase says that it’s nothing to worry about, business as usual, etc etc – but that’s coming off the back of a 10% lay-off announcement last week from CEO Brian Armstrong.

The affiliate program was a way for “influencers” to grab a commission on every new user they directed to Coinbase – so the upside is that we may see a large drop in the number of spammy links to the platform.


Big French Institutional play on the horizon.

Over at Coindesk, they’re reporting that French banking giant BNP Paribas is getting into the crypto scene, after news leaked of a deal with Swiss digital asset safekeeping firm Metaco.

It’s potentially a massive move for the French banker, with its Securities Services already watching over more than US$13 trillion, and will help Metaco secure its position in the market as the go-to for institutional entrants into the crypto space.