"Hope I didn't offend Fido with that last comment… Ah, why do I always do this? I hate myself." Pic via Getty Images
Aftermarket
Overthinking can feel like mental quicksand. Here’s how to break free, reset, and focus on what actually matters.
Words by Claire Burke at Body + Soul
Whether it’s a relationship problem, workplace dilemma or holiday plan, considering all the pros and cons of something is part of good decision making.
But if your ruminating is constant and interfering with other areas of your life, it could be time to get it in check.
“While some level of thinking things through can be beneficial, overthinking becomes problematic when it leads to excessive worry, anxiety and negative outcomes,” psychotherapist Eugenie Pepper says.
It’s Not You, It’s Me! A Chronic Overthinker’s Guide to Self-Reflection author Rosemary Gattuso says overthinking “feels heavy” and involves focusing on past mistakes, judgment, jumping to conclusions based on fear, and getting stuck with decision making.
Healthy problem solving, on the other hand, is lighter and more constructive.
“It focuses on staying present and considering future possibilities, using evidence and logic to guide decisions, and emphasising strengths and solutions rather than dwelling on problems,” Gattuso says.
She explains that according to strengths-based practices, all our thoughts, feelings and actions can be categorised as focusing on either “what’s wrong” or “what’s strong”.
“Overthinking typically centres on ‘what’s wrong’, ” she notes.
“Conversely, an analysis that focuses on ‘what’s strong’ falls under reflection.”
Gattuso explains the distinction is important for helping to understand the quality of our self-talk which, in turn, shapes our perception of the situation and response to it.
“Ask yourself: ‘Are your thoughts centred on what’s wrong and keeping you stuck in the past or are they highlighting what’s strong and guiding you toward future solutions?’ ”
We can thank our ancestors for our tendency to overthink, Gattuso says.
“We’re biologically primed to expect the worst, and our negativity bias makes us more prone to remembering the negative aspects of situations,” she says.
“This means we’re naturally inclined to be paranoid and negative – a double whammy!”
She says these biological factors, combined with personal characteristics and early experiences, influence whether we zoom in on what’s wrong and overthink, or zoom out to include what’s strong and reflect.
While analysing a situation starts as a protective mechanism, when we head down the overthinking rabbit hole, we can get stuck ruminating on our negative thoughts.
“When we are overthinking a problem, we are excessively focusing on the parts in view that cause uncertainty and anxiety, and we can then get stuck in a loop of second-guessing and doubt, making it difficult to move forward,” Gattuso explains.
“Overthinking diminishes our resilience because it erodes our confidence in our decisions, dreams and abilities.
“When we fixate on what has or might go wrong, self-belief becomes challenging, making us more susceptible to adversity and self-criticism.”
Research shows thinking too much is associated with risk of mental ill health, including anxiety and depression.
Pepper says it can also put a strain on relationships.
“Overanalysing interactions can lead to misunderstandings and sometimes make people overreact,” she notes.
If obsessive thinking is holding you back or creating conflict in your life, there are ways to help steer your mind down a more productive path.
#1. Don’t try to eliminate overthinking
“This is unrealistic and can lead to disappointment,” Gattuso says.
“Instead, be aware of when you get caught in overthinking, acknowledge it, and learn from it without being too hard on yourself.”
She adds there will be times when overthinking takes over, but at other times problem solving and reflection can take the lead.
“If you can overthink, you can also reflect and use this ability to foster personal growth, resilience and self-belief,” she says.
#2. Cognitive and behavioural therapy
“This helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with healthier ways of thinking,” Pepper says.
Gattuso suggests making yourself aware of your thoughts – are they closer to what’s wrong or what’s strong?
“This can help chronic overthinkers externalise and learn from our mental processing,” Gattuso says.
“The goal isn’t to view life through a ‘what’s strong’ lens all the time, but to learn from our overthinking and embrace the insights it can offer.”
#3. Mindfulness and meditation
“This can help you stay present and reduce rumination on past events or worries about the future,” Pepper says.
#4. Consider the reliability of your information
“Only entertain dependable information such as (that from) a witness or document, (and) dismiss anything that can be regarded as gossip, opinion or assumption that can fuel anxiety,” Gattuso says.
“This lifts the burden of unsubstantiated worries, so we can base decisions on concrete evidence.”
#5. Write down your thoughts
Pepper says this helps individuals gain clarity and perspective on their concerns.
This article first appeared in bodyandsoul.com.au
Health & Biotech
Long Shortz
Health & Biotech
