New study reveals both men and women prefer younger partners – here’s why

The dating “rulebook” tells us that men chase younger women while women seek older, more established partners. But what if that’s outdated, culturally conditioned nonsense?

Words by Sera Bozza for Body+Soul

A new study from the University of California, Davis, analysed 4500 blind dates and found that when it comes to real-life attraction – how people actually feel, not what they think they want – both men and women preferred younger partners.

That’s right. The “older man, younger woman” trope isn’t just looking tired in Hollywood – it’s looking tired in science, too. Women were just as likely as men to be drawn to younger partners once they were face-to-face.

If you’re thinking, ‘But what about evolution? What about financial stability?’ – hold that thought. This isn’t just about outdated biology theories or society’s obsession with youth; it is about how attraction actually works. And why your dating preferences might not be as set in stone as you think.

Let’s break it down.

The study that blew up old-school dating myths

The UC Davis study followed thousands of blind dates through a matchmaking service, analysing how age impacted attraction in real time.

Participants had previously reported an age range they thought they were interested in. But once they were sitting across from a real person? Their preferences shifted.

The lead researcher, Paul Eastwick, noted that men and women were “slightly more attracted to younger partners” after a date, even when their self-reported preferences indicated otherwise.

This is huge because it challenges one of the longest-standing dating stereotypes: men chase youth, and women chase financial security. It turns out that both genders are drawn to younger partners, but only when they interact with them.

Translation? You’re not actually choosing; you’re just following a script. Your dating “rules” might not be based on reality; they’re just assumptions you’ve absorbed over time. And let’s be real: if you had a checklist of your dating ‘must-haves,’ how many of your past relationships would qualify? Exactly.

Why are younger partners more attractive in real life?

If this isn’t just biology at play, why do younger partners seem more attractive in the moment? Energy and playfulness may have something to do with it.

We associate youth with energy, curiosity, and excitement – all qualities that make dating fun. Younger people often exude a sense of optimism and spontaneity, which can be infectious.

Think about it: would you rather be on a date with someone who radiates enthusiasm or is emotionally drained from years of cynicism and bad relationships? This isn’t about age. It’s about emotional mileage. And some people have been ‘road-tripped’ to hell and back before they even hit 30.

But here’s the kicker: energy doesn’t come with a birth certificate – it comes with attitude. Someone can be 25, emotionally exhausted, or 50, and the most engaging person in the room.

Your “age rules” (and other hang-ups) might be holding you back

This study and its results aren’t just about who we’re attracted to—it’s about how we limit ourselves. Most people date with a self-imposed set of rules:

• “I won’t date anyone under 30.”
• “I only go for older, more mature men.”
• “If she’s not younger, I’m not interested.”

Yet, in real-life situations, those preferences often disappear. So, your lousy judgment is the only thing between you and a great match. Your future partner is probably not the age you think they should be. And you know what? You’ll be fine.

Your brain is full of crap (and so are your preferences)

The study also proves what psychologists already know: people suck at predicting what will make them happy. We think we know what we want, but we’re influenced by Hollywood, outdated norms, and what our parents told us growing up.

You think you’re making rational choices. But you’re mostly running on autopilot.

Be honest: are your dating preferences yours? Or are they just the least controversial, most socially acceptable choices you could make?

So before you double down on “I only date older men” or “I need someone younger to keep up with me”, ask yourself: is that your preference? Or is it just societal noise you’ve never bothered to question?

Stop dating your assumptions

The best relationships aren’t built on formulas of ideal age gaps but on chemistry, compatibility, and shared experience.

This study proves what many already suspected: attraction isn’t just about numbers. If you’re willing to expand your preferences, you might be surprised who you connect with.

So next time you’re swiping, maybe rethink that knee-jerk rejection over the age range. Your best match might be outside the box you built for yourself.

And if you still think attraction follows some kind of rigid age plus biology plus resources formula? Well, 4500 blind dates say otherwise.

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This article first appeared at bodyandsoul.com.au