From Italy this morning comes a political story that almost beggars belief, as a 95-year-old woman annunces that she’s running for a Senate seat in the country’s upcoming elections.

Italian cinema icon Gina Lollobrigida says she’s throwing her hat in the ring for a seat in a political body that is known for its robust debate and voluble exchanges of ideas…

Such as this careful and considered exchange from 2018.

Or this one from 2014.

Or this one from 2011

Yeah… you get the picture…

Anyway –  95-year-old Lollobrigida reckons she’s up for a scrap if need be, and she’s likely got the stones to carry it off, having survived the unrelenting horrors of being a Hollywood starlet through the 50s and 60s.

But while she’s famed for her roles in such classics as The Hunchback of Notre Dame (not as the titular Hunchback) and the so-Italian-it-hurts Beautiful but Dangerous and Fast and Sexy she’s not entirely scandal-free.

The incredibly weird story behind her marriage to her 55-year-old Spanish boyfriend  Javier Rigau y Rafolsin 2010, when she was a spritely 83, is a shining example of why – at her age – she might not be the best candidate in the world.

When that marriage broke down in 2013, Lollobrigida took Javier Rigau y Rafols to court, where it emerged that the wedding ceremony took place without Lollobrigida at the altar, using a 72-year-old friend of the groom’s as a stand-in.

That’s hopefully not a sign of any impending “senior moments” for Lollobrigida, but her advanced age does raise questions around how old is too old for that sort of gig.

She can at least take some comfort in seeing that super-old people are perfectly capable of making Great Decisions on Behalf of the People.

Lollobrigida need look no further than the US, which is currently labouring away under the somewhat limp guidance of its oldest president ever.

The world is getting used to seeing Old Man Biden getting trotted out to drone and groan like a horror-movie mummy into a microphone for a few minutes each day – but he did manage to sign a US$430 billion Inflation Reduction Act last night (more on that later…).

So maybe – just maybe – the new Grand Old Lady of Italian politics is in with a shot, to see out her days, peacefuly ducking thrown chairs and brawling lawmakers in the peace and quiet of the Italian senate.

 

TO MARKETS

Aussie markets fell at open this morning, with the benchmark dropping 0.23% to 7,088.5 when the doors were opened and investors rushed to the moshpit to get as close to the numbers as possible.

There was a brief rally to +0.14%, but the push ran out of steam and the benchmark fell, until a solid rally at 11.30am when the ASX threw back its fourth coffee for the morning so we’re heading into lunch with a break-even result in sight.

Across the sectors,and there are some stand-out performers swimming like a German backpacker against the outgoing tide.

Consumer Discretionary is up (+1.59%), with Staples not far behind (+1.25%), while Industrials is putting up a struggle, adding +0.71%.

The rest of the sectors aren’t super-weak – except for Health Care (-1.05%). If it keeps this up, we’re putting it in a home. Last warning.

In the Corporate Box and enjoying the free finger food this morning, it’s Super Retail Group (ASX:SUL), which has jumped 8.5% after a market-pleasing FY22 results announcement.

Super Retail Group has a strong second half performance to thank for its Total Group sales climbing 2.8 per cent to $3.55 billion, pushing its net profit after tax to $241.2 million.

SUL is set to issue a Fully franked final dividend of $0. 43 per share, bringing the full year dividend to $0.70 cents per share.

Banished to the back of the grandstand for cold pies and warm beer, however, are a few familiar names, including Magellan (ASX:MFG), which had been on a solid but unremarkable upward trend since mid-July.

However, most of that has been lost this morning after the company’s results showed a 9% drop in average funds under management, and a 3% drop in adjusted net profit after tax – neither of which are really news.

The meat of that story is a dividend of $1.79 per share, which sounds pretty good, except that it’s a full 15% lower than last time, and investors seem a bit miffed about it and Magellan’s price is down 8.5%

The never-ending rollercoaster ride that is the Sayona (ASX:SYA) share price has, once again, started its descent (tray tables up and seat backs upright, please) – falling 6.3% this morning, and Pointsbet (ASX:PBH) is also back to playing on the teeter-totter, down 6.9% this morning.

That’s despite (or because… it’s kinda hard to tell) PBH announcing its ordinary shares have been approved for eligibility by The Depository Trust Company (DTC), facilitating real time electronic clearing and settlement in the United States for its OTCQX quoted ordinary shares.

Time for a quick look overseas before we’re into the Small Caps today.

 

NOT THE ASX

Wall Street was mixed with the S&P 500 and Dow Jones closing higher by 0.20% and 0.70% respectively, and Nasdaq losing ground by 0.20%.

As is tradition in these parts, our man Edy Sunarto stayed up alllll night (not really) watching what was going on in the US, and elsewhere.

US retailers surprised with earnings that were better than estimates. Walmart climbed 5% after its profit decline was less than forecast. Home Depot rose 4% after beating Q2 earnings expectations and standing by its FY22 guidance.

And in good news for the environment maybe, President Biden has officially signed the US$430 billion Inflation Reduction Act into law in a White House event last night.

The bill is seen as the biggest climate package ever passed in US history, and has been widely celebrated by the fancy folks with waterfront property, and everybody who lives in a swamp.

In Asia, things are looking well mixed, like a couple of bangers on the DJ’s decks on a Saturday night in club land.

Japanese shares are up 0.79%, Shanghai’s dropped 0.36% and Hong Kong’s flatter than a fat guy’s yoga mat, +0.03%.

Likewise, the commodites desk is reporting a mixed bag as well, with barely any movement from gold (+0.06%) and silver (-0.02%), while copper has dropped like a misplaced penny, -0.25%

Meanwhile, oil prices have edged up 0.25% and natural gas is positively buoyant by comparison, up 0.72% for the morning.

In crypto land, where the numbers are more elastic than a brand new pair of grundies, Doge looks to making some moves while the rest of the majors snooze. Badman’s Mooners and Shakers crypto wrap-up is here. Read it – you’ll love it.

 

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

Here are the best performing ASX small cap stocks for August 17 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Code Company Price % Volume Market Cap
SI6 SI6 Metals Limited 0.009 29% 10,974,038 $10,417,324
DAF Discovery Alaska Ltd 0.07 27% 824,632 $12,332,908
NUH Nuheara Limited 0.235 27% 896,952 $25,381,135
MCM Mc Mining Ltd 0.27 26% 37,523 $42,495,797
BMH Baumart Holdings Ltd 0.12 20% 55,071 $14,474,476
LNU Linius Tech Limited 0.006 20% 9,916,938 $11,256,832
PGM Platina Resources 0.038 19% 391,755 $14,458,726
TMS Tennant Minerals Ltd 0.046 18% 103,522,124 $24,046,474
AJQ Armour Energy Ltd 0.007 17% 104,979 $13,550,705
AOA Ausmon Resorces 0.007 17% 140,722 $5,143,736
ARO Astro Resources NL 0.0035 17% 2,000,000 $14,115,724
CTO Citigold Corp Ltd 0.007 17% 75,714 $17,001,955
ROO Roots Sustainable 0.0035 17% 92,429 $2,248,898
IME Imexhs Limited 0.58 16% 20,005 $17,432,366
CLA Celsius Resource Ltd 0.015 15% 15,303,475 $19,291,357
MEG Megado Minerals Ltd 0.125 14% 171,944 $11,995,368
CZL Cons Zinc Ltd 0.025 14% 171,886 $8,521,872
LRK Lark Distilling Co. 3.3 12% 156,009 $222,153,812
BLG Bluglass Limited 0.029 12% 3,238,114 $33,169,573
NCL Netccentric Ltd 0.089 11% 22,713 $22,640,933
AHI Adv Human Imag Ltd 0.15 11% 44,173 $22,713,667
KNM Kneomedia Limited 0.02 11% 219,827 $24,225,798
VIP VIP Gloves 0.01 11% 836,975 $7,081,033
RAS Ragusa Minerals Ltd 0.205 11% 5,744,109 $23,261,189
EMS Eastern Metals 0.155 11% 91,700 $5,411,875
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Winning the Small Caps race this morning is medtech Nuheara (ASX:NUH), roaring like a lion to a pride-inducing 36% pounce, on news that the US has cleared the way for its hearing aid tech to be sold as an Over-the-Counter (OTC) product, cutting out expensive trips to the audiologist to have the devices fitted.

Mining minnows Tennant Minerals (ASX:TMS) is on a tear, followng a bonanza grade hit at its Bluebird copper-gold project.

Tennant drilled into a 63m @ 2.1% Copper and 4.6g/t Including 27.55m @ 3.6% Copper and 10g/t gold intersection, which has excited investors to the tune of 16.6%.

MC Mining (ASX:MCM) has shot up 23% on no identifiable news, but it might just be that someone managed to get allll the way to the end of its 17-page results report from the end of July, to find out that Snape kills Dumbledore.

Having a shocker, however, is Redbubble (ASX:RBL), which has accelerated its woeful slide into the murk this morning, releasing a results report with a spreadsheet so red, it’s like a communist manifesto.

Investors have bolted in droves, its price is down 39%, leaving Redbubble looking like the nose on a sadface clown.

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the most-worst performing ASX small cap stocks for August 17 [intraday]:

Swipe or scroll to reveal full table. Click headings to sort:

Code Company Price % Volume Market Cap
RBL Redbubble Limited 0.9325 -38% 8,061,408 $412,500,733
CLE Cyclone Metals 0.003 -25% 5,387,466 $24,466,948
LSR Lodestar Minerals 0.007 -22% 13,448,177 $15,645,936
MEM Memphasys Ltd 0.036 -20% 146,133 $35,648,025
CCE Carnegie Cln Energy 0.002 -20% 734,460 $37,756,434
PCL Pancontinental Energ 0.004 -20% 31,726,597 $37,771,114
CDD Cardno Limited 0.4075 -18% 271,809 $19,335,028
AFW Applyflow Limited 0.0025 -17% 2,065,100 $8,872,824
MTH Mithril Resources 0.005 -17% 12,600 $17,581,398
OPY Openpay Group 0.23 -16% 1,652,370 $43,526,818
CVN Carnarvon Energy Ltd 0.17 -15% 24,305,351 $360,037,381
FLX Felix Group 0.18 -14% 119,646 $27,884,593
GLV Global Oil & Gas 0.003 -14% 59,585 $6,556,741
TSC Twenty Seven Co. Ltd 0.003 -14% 1,281,669 $9,312,849
MPG Manypeaksgoldlimited 0.25 -14% 8,914 $9,309,580
LRL Labyrinth Resources 0.025 -14% 525,000 $25,327,636
LRV Larvottoresources 0.22 -14% 55,902 $10,590,788
AAJ Aruma Resources Ltd 0.07 -13% 294,967 $12,556,920
NRX Noronex Limited 0.027 -11% 754,592 $5,199,024
PR1 Pureresourceslimited 0.235 -11% 20,000 $6,631,627
HAL Halo Technologies 0.32 -11% 94,634 $46,622,026
W2V Way2Vatltd 0.04 -11% 2,062,710 $7,170,111
PUR Pursuit Minerals 0.016 -11% 1,298,264 $17,879,385
ABY Adore Beauty 1.975 -10% 200,506 $207,073,893
SAU Southern Gold 0.033 -11% 4,240 $7,893,164
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