From the far off, mystical land of America, comes this cautionary tale of woe and gross stupidity, after a fella was busted at the airport upon a 10kg haul of cocaine.

Border Patrol officers, possibly while on a break from stuffing kids into cages, spotted a 22-year-old disabled man entering the US at Charlotte Douglas International Airport from the Dominican Republic.

Spotting an opportunity to turn someone’s Holiday of a Lifetime™ into a truly miserable experience, the man and his motorised wheelchair were taken to a back room for a quiet chat.

Once there, his description of his disability didn’t stand up to much scrutiny™.

US agents found 10kg of coke cunningly disguised as a wheelchair. Pic via US Homeland Security, and now I’m on a list. Awesome.

A search of the man’s belongings found the 10kg stash of coke, cunningly disguised as a wheelchair, which officials claim had a street value of US$378,000.

Converted to Aussie dollars (and pricing in local market forces, rising consumer demand and investor expectations), we’ve arrived at a face-numbing valuation of A$1.8 million – and we’re betting our chum in the wheelchair was glad he hadn’t tried to smuggle it in as a metric buttload™.

Speaking from the deck of a flash new speedboat, a Border Patrol spokesman said officers were shocked to find the 8kg of cocaine, and said that disposal of the 6kg haul would commence as soon as they located a facility capable of destroying all 3kg in one go.

Because they stole it… that’s the joke… fine. Never mind.

I’ll get my coat.™

To Markets

In an act of outright anti-imperial defiance, Australian shares have thrown off the shackles of the Wall Street overlords, slumping in an obstinate manner while the markets waited gloomily for an expected rate rise by the RBA.

Climbing highest this morning is Rocketboots (ASX:ROC), screaming out of the basement with a >100% hike following the announcement of the company’s hook-up with Nvidia. The company has a presention scheduled for 2.00pm today, so there’s likely to be more news this arvo.

Among the big kids today, Core Lithium (ASX:CXO) continued its bounce out of last week’s slump, climbing ~6.25% to $1.275, and pushing (reasonably) steadily towards its April high of $1.60.

But taking a bath and dragging things down were a host of Basic Minerals players, with a smattering from other sectors adding to the anchors.

Among those was Zip Co (ASX:ZIP), which dropped ~10% from yesterday as it continued its slow and tragic decline, down ~90% YTD.

Another noteworthy fall came from Inca Minerals (ASX:ICG), as it gave up a huge chunk of yesterday’s heroic gains spawned by a positive announcement about a first-hole strike of Iron Oxide Copper-Gold at its Mount Lamb NE prospect in the Northern Territory.

Yesterday, Inca had climbed from $0.07 to close at $0.13, but it’s dropped halfway back almost as fast to land around ~0.105 down at lunch.

Elsewhere on the planet, things were looking a bit better. US markets rose gently as the S&P and Nasdaq climbed ~0.35% apiece and the Dow snoozed through Monday to end flat.

Asian markets were similarly lackadaisical, Hong Kong and Shanghai aping the Dow while Japan inched forward +0.30%.

The global oil shortage continued to add upward pressure to prices, which climbed ~0.5% to nearly US$120 a barrel, gold prices ticked down a smidge, dipping ~0.2%, and the Aussie dollar is buying even less cocaine from the US, losing ~0.40%.

ASX SMALL CAP WINNERS

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Lion One Metals (ASX:LLO) has apparently hit the freakin’ jackpot, sending its shares careening off into the distance, after announcing a jaw-dropping find at its Tuvatu Alkaline gold project. The company says the find is the longest high-grade intercept yet recorded at Tuvatu: 20.86g/t Au over 75.9m, including 43.62 g/t Au over 30.0m which includes 90.35g/t Au over 7.2m.

Investors promptly went bananas, which sent Lion’s price jumping 58.0% to $2.20 at lunchtime.

ASX SMALL CAP LOSERS

Here are the worst performing ASX small cap stocks for 7 June [intraday]:

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